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| Airbus |
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  Joined: Sat Feb 25 2006, 01:22PM Posts: 432 | This was from a helicopter pilot who was passing thru. He made me dump three gallons of Jet-A on the deck. A man was at the Dover races with a doctor friend. While walking around they passed a long row of porta-potties. The man said to his friend, All kidding aside Doc, are you telling me not one case of AIDS can be caught on a toilet seat? 'Not if the other guy gets up first', answered the Doctor.' Pete bus-pilot 80 Westy | ||
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| zoo |
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 Joined: Wed Feb 22 2006, 04:30PM Posts: 1800 | [ image disabled ] 20 year + Bus Driver...71 westie | ||
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| pyramidgirl |
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 Joined: Tue Jun 06 2006, 05:46PM Posts: 152 | zoo wrote ... [ image disabled ] I need to get me a set of those for when my 17 year old son explains to me why he was late getting home....well realy when ever he speaks.......lol Debi Monday | ||
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| PipesmokingSteve |
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Joined: Mon Feb 27 2006, 10:00PM Posts: 618 | zoo wrote ... [ image disabled ] I thought I saw this before.... here is the original caption. "Bill Moyer, 73, wears a "[BLEEP!] Protector" flap over his ear while President George W. Bush, on screen at rear, addresses the Veterans of Foreign Wars at their 106th convention Monday, Aug. 22, 2005, in Salt Lake City. Moyer served in Korea and Vietnam, and in the post-WWII occupation of Germany. " It all makes sense when you realize their agenda is to control, dominate and get rich. | ||
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| swanm66(Shawn) |
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 Joined: Wed Jun 07 2006, 03:01PM Posts: 974 | A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.  Shawn Sophia, NC 74 Hardtop (LUCY) | ||
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| The Bay Sleigh Driver |
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 Joined: Tue Jul 25 2006, 10:31PM Posts: 1277 | " Later Garry De |©¯¯©| & lO\\ /Ol & (Ө\\ ! /Ө) | ||
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| Mr. Bill |
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 Joined: Wed Feb 22 2006, 04:16PM Posts: 2685 |  hik  Virginia Beach, VA. ....ein Mann hat nichts, bis er hat Freunde. 71 Deluxe turned Riviera Westfakia named Sunbeam 65 Baja named Scrappy-DooSOLD 70 Riviera. Sold WANTED: 1962 23-window | ||
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| Mr. Bill |
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Joined: Wed Feb 22 2006, 04:16PM Posts: 2685 | Choosing a Wife A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs. Men are like that, you know. Virginia Beach, VA. ....ein Mann hat nichts, bis er hat Freunde. 71 Deluxe turned Riviera Westfakia named Sunbeam 65 Baja named Scrappy-DooSOLD 70 Riviera. Sold WANTED: 1962 23-window | ||
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| morgj |
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 Joined: Wed Mar 22 2006, 03:30PM Posts: 1388 | Two Muslim Mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the Mothers pulls out her bag and starts flipping through pictures and reminiscing. "This is my oldest son, Mohamed. He would be 24 now." The other Mother replies, "I remember him as a baby." The Mum says, "He's a martyr now." "Oh, so sad, my dear." Mum flips to another picture. "And this is my second son, Kali. He would be 21." "Oh I remember him. He had such curly hair when he was born." Mum sighs, "He's a martyr, too." "Oh gracious me" says the second Mother. "And this is my third son. My beautiful Ahmed.! He would be 18" Mum whispers. "Yes" says her friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He's a martyr also" Mum says, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim Mother looks wistfully at the photos and says: "They blow up so fast, don't they?" Morgan and Donna 73 Westy Spotsylvania, VA | ||
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| Admin |
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 Joined: Mon Feb 06 2006, 04:02PM Posts: 2243 | Sick, but sort of true these days. | ||
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| morgj |
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Joined: Wed Mar 22 2006, 03:30PM Posts: 1388 | Anton wrote ... Sick, but sort of true these days. and sad also. Morgan and Donna 73 Westy Spotsylvania, VA | ||
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| morgj |
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Joined: Wed Mar 22 2006, 03:30PM Posts: 1388 | There are two guys who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a small tree off in the distance. As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. And the smell... oh, the glorious smell!" "Look Pepe," says the first man. "It's a bacon tree!" "You're right!" says Pepe, "We're saved!" Pepe doesn't wait another second. He runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But just as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets. His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! What on earth happened?" And with his dying breath Pepe calls back: "Ugh, run, run!! It's not a Bacon Tree after all..." "...its a ham bush!" Morgan and Donna 73 Westy Spotsylvania, VA | ||
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| morgj |
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Joined: Wed Mar 22 2006, 03:30PM Posts: 1388 | Anne the harpist and Sam the trombonist went out to a discotheque. Sam's car wouldn't lock, but Sam was a good friend of the owner, so they locked their instruments in his office, and went into the disco for some fun. By the end of the night, and having had way too much to drink, they went back to rehearsal, completely forgetting to take back their instruments. Anne told the conductor, "I left my harp in Sam's friend's disco." Morgan and Donna 73 Westy Spotsylvania, VA | ||
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| morgj |
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Joined: Wed Mar 22 2006, 03:30PM Posts: 1388 | last one A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing." Morgan and Donna 73 Westy Spotsylvania, VA | ||
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| bedubs veedub |
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 Joined: Tue Aug 08 2006, 04:28PM Posts: 749 | A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was that once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men. First floor, the door had a sign saying: "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say: "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go. Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," say the girls, "But, I wonder what's further up?" Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow!" say the women."Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!" And so again, they go up. Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me. But just think?! What must be awaiting us further on?!" So up to the fifth floor they go. The sign on that door said: "Congratulations, You are visitor number One-Billion Eight Hundred Ninety-Seven Million Six-Hundred Thirty-Four. There are no men here. This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day!"  Brian and Sarah Wilkes Barre PA 1973 Westy Campmobile  My Myspace | ||
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| Mr. Bill |
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Joined: Wed Feb 22 2006, 04:16PM Posts: 2685 | eckleywa wrote ... I got through level 13 then had to get back to work... Cool game. DAMN YOU ANTON, AND YOUR EVIL ORBOX EMPIRE!!!!!! Virginia Beach, VA. ....ein Mann hat nichts, bis er hat Freunde. 71 Deluxe turned Riviera Westfakia named Sunbeam 65 Baja named Scrappy-DooSOLD 70 Riviera. Sold WANTED: 1962 23-window | ||
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| bedubs veedub |
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Joined: Tue Aug 08 2006, 04:28PM Posts: 749 | every time i play i get a level farther than the last.. ive gotten up to 21 or 23. i think they write it as they go, because ill get to a level and sware up and down its just not possible.. then get past it the next day. Brian and Sarah Wilkes Barre PA 1973 Westy Campmobile My Myspace | ||
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| Admin |
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Joined: Mon Feb 06 2006, 04:02PM Posts: 2243 | The Orbox owns you... | ||
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| Pat13ncE (Lori) |
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 Joined: Wed Jul 19 2006, 06:38PM Posts: 639 | To funny. I keep trying to get that extra level. In the process calling that flashing cube every name I can think of. Lori, Sabrina and Buster D' Dog Lehigh Valley, PA Livin w/ a Froggie Bus Dream.....  On-line Store: Click Here for Link | ||
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| Mr. Bill |
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Joined: Wed Feb 22 2006, 04:16PM Posts: 2685 | A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns. The guy says, "Wow, it really works." Virginia Beach, VA. ....ein Mann hat nichts, bis er hat Freunde. 71 Deluxe turned Riviera Westfakia named Sunbeam 65 Baja named Scrappy-DooSOLD 70 Riviera. Sold WANTED: 1962 23-window | ||
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| morgj |
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Joined: Wed Mar 22 2006, 03:30PM Posts: 1388 | As I was packing for our camping trip, my 3-year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my booger?"  Morgan and Donna 73 Westy Spotsylvania, VA | ||
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| morgj |
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Joined: Wed Mar 22 2006, 03:30PM Posts: 1388 | did you hear about the dyselxic agnostic insomniac? lays awake all night wondering if there is a dog. Morgan and Donna 73 Westy Spotsylvania, VA | ||
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| Mike DAngelo |
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 Joined: Fri Aug 25 2006, 10:59PM Posts: 1190 | Being in redneck Country and all i figure i need to post this and what better place than here. http://www.frontiernet.net/~tzuleger/ webjokes/red/redneckcomputer.shtml | ||
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| Admin |
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Joined: Mon Feb 06 2006, 04:02PM Posts: 2243 | I "see" your Redneck Computer, and raise you a Firebird! | ||
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| Mike DAngelo |
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Joined: Fri Aug 25 2006, 10:59PM Posts: 1190 | I see your Firebird and raise you a Hearse [ image disabled ] | ||
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| The Bay Sleigh Driver |
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Joined: Tue Jul 25 2006, 10:31PM Posts: 1277 | " Later Garry De |©¯¯©| & lO\\ /Ol & (Ө\\ ! /Ө) | ||
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| Admin |
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Joined: Mon Feb 06 2006, 04:02PM Posts: 2243 | Mike, your "hearse" is a Photoshopped fake. I call foul! That's like tossing in a wooden nickel in a high-stakes Vegas poker game. | ||
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| bedubs veedub |
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Joined: Tue Aug 08 2006, 04:28PM Posts: 749 | I see your Hearse and raise you Elvis. [ image disabled ] Brian and Sarah Wilkes Barre PA 1973 Westy Campmobile My Myspace | ||
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| Admin |
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Joined: Mon Feb 06 2006, 04:02PM Posts: 2243 | I call! | ||
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| bedubs veedub |
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Joined: Tue Aug 08 2006, 04:28PM Posts: 749 | crap.. im busted. Brian and Sarah Wilkes Barre PA 1973 Westy Campmobile My Myspace | ||
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